Tiger Tiger again, eh? Tiger bloody Tiger. And there we were, congratulating ourselves on having kept an even temper about the place, and on finding other subjects out of which to take the piss. But, like a serial killer hiding the bodies under the floorboards, it seems it's going to take more than a rub down with talc and a nonchalant whistle to stop the stench from oozing out and into the nostrils of the goodly and wise. And lookee here, what's this? A full eighteen months after we ran our Tiger Tiger Complaints Board feature, and sent anonymously in the wee small hours, comes this charming missive from some corporate lapdog prepared to risk untold ridicule in the name of brand solidarity. And this in defence of a company whose promise-delivery ratio would make a politician blush. Ah look, bless him: he even refers to the place as "Tiger", to show that he's really part of the in-crowd, like you can form a personal bond with a chain bar. Which Tiger Tiger does he work at? We have no idea and less inclination to find out. He's a nipple regardless.

Here's our hero's message in its upper case entirety. Punctuation and spelling model's own.

From	Message
Anonymous	TIGER TIGER PAYS MY WAGES FUCK ALL YOU INBREAD CUNTS YOU CAN ALL GO AND FUCK EACH OTHERS ARSES IF YOU DONT LIKE TIGER TOUGH SHITE GO AND DIE YOU SCUM SUCKING PIGS!!!!!!!!!!

Inbread? Eh? What's that you're saying, you fucking spazz? You're insulting us by likening us to a sandwich filling, are you? Ho ho ho. That'll be "inbred", then, you thick pleb. Look, how many times do we have to say it?

THE ENTIRE TIGER TIGER CHAIN IS A FUCKING ABOMINATION.

Can't you get it into your skull? It doesn't matter how much you rant at us or how many e-mails you send off in self-righteous, post-midnight anger, you brainless chump. The simple fact remains that your Tiger Tiger - along with all the other venues under that shoddy brand umbrella - is an absolute CRIME against humanity. It's a poorly designed, overpriced, badly staffed cackfest, and it should be demolished post-haste, preferably with at least half a dozen "guest DJs" still in it. Plus, the swill you serve - with delays to gladden the heart of GNER - is an offence to the palate, and any of your underage, underdressed customers who fail to grasp that are clearly even dumber than you are. Paying through the nose for badly mixed slurry does not make you "sophisticated", or "discerning" or even "the moneyed elite". It. Makes. You. A. CUNT. Do we make ourselves clear? For fuck's sake, man...

Next month, Dr Josef Mengele writes to tell us: "Aye, so I might have personally selected over 400,000 prisoners to die in the gas chambers of Auschwitz, but at least them Nazis paid double bubble on Sundays."

Pillock.