March: spring is in the air, the ducks are back in the pond, and we've no time or inclination for griping about the state of Newcastle's pubs. Instead we're giving our readers an exclusive behind-the-scenes look at the Burglar's Dog review process, from the extensive, initial, ear-to-the-ground research, to our inevitable, irrefutable conclusion.

It's a dog's life: 24 hours in the life of the Burglar's Dog reveals exactly what happens each time a new bar opens in Newcastle, but is guaranteed to contain none of our usual pompous waffle or inarticulate bluster.

Come on, dive right in. The water's fine. Click through with us as we spill the pictorial beans on our in-house practices. See it all in glorious colour. Marvel at our entry-level grasp of PaintShop Pro.

Go on, man. It took us fucking ages.